My Favorite Song...

Here are the lyrics to my favorite song...
They are in my opinion, the most beautiful words I've ever heard.

Turning Page by: Sleeping At Last


I've waited a hundred years.
But I'd wait a million more for you.
Nothing prepared me for,
What the privilege of being yours would do.

If I had only felt the warmth within your touch.
If I had only seen how you smile when you blush.
Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough.
Oh I would have known what I was living for
All along.
What I've been living for.

Your love is my turning page.
Where only the sweetest words remain.
Every kiss is a cursive line,
Every touch is a redefining phrase.

I surrender who I've been for who you are.
For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart.
If I had only felt how it feels to be yours,
Well, I would have known what I've been living for
All along.
What I've been living for.

Though we're tethered to the story we must tell,
When I saw you, well, I knew we'd tell it well.
With a whisper, we will tame the vicious seas.
Like a feather bringing kingdoms to their knees.

Like a star on fire or a day of rain. We are powerless.
We do not choose such things.
We do not dictate when the rain will wet the ground and drown the earth.
We do not say when a star will burn out and plunge into the defeated unknown.
We do not know nor do we have the power or strength.

We do not choose who we fall in love with.
People may say we do, but they are mistaken.
Love is not chosen. It in itself is the chooser.
The choice maker.
The chains that bind.
The force.
The light.
The power.
It is immortal.
It is idyllic.
It is dangerous.
It is kind.
It is fear.
It is here.

It is inevitable.

If it were not true... Where would we be?
Maybe we would be full.
Maybe our hearts would never become broken.
Maybe we wouldn't even exist.
Maybe. Maybe not.
Love.
A very peculiar thing indeed.

To You...

I knew that things were never truly in shadow. I knew that everything would soon be warm and happy again. I am glad to say I feel it happening. I know it's a slow process. One that takes pacience, faith, and good old fashion time. I expect and try to prepare myself for future set backs and times of haulting grief, which I think is healthy.
I've returned to myself a little bit more each day.
I smile more. I wake up in the morning with more hope rather than dread. I'm trying to love myself and every wonderful and beautiful thing around me a bit more. I don't let words and stares and glares and talk get me down.
I try detach myself from that poison.
Now, is the time I want to speak the truth that has sat in me for a long time...
Not to anyone, but to a few people who I hold words for...

You are the person who has pushed me and kicked me down for so long. The words that flow out of your mouth resemble toxic waste. Your hateful glares and gossip. Not even decent enough to share in person, but behind my back. You have tried to make me feel small and hated. Bringing others down that same hateful path. You have found wrong in everything I do. Why? What have I done to you?
You would think that I wish you harm and pain and suffering, but you are mistaken.
To you, I wish nothing but pure happiness... I wish nothing less. I wish this so that maybe you won't find the need to take it away from others.

You should really be nicer to people. Your coldness will surely leave you frostbitten. You might end up catching a cold from the ice inside your soul.

You are my best friend, my confidant, my favorite... You make me laugh. You make me want to get up in the morning. You make me want to want to go on. I couldn't imagine my life without you. Don't ever let my life go on without you. Please.

You are so far away. It might as well be a world away, and yet everytime we talk... I smile and I feel at ease. I've never felt that with anyone. I feel myself. I feel better than myself. I feel a happier self. If I'm going through something and we happen to catch up, I feel nothing but peace for that short amout of time. You get me. I like to think I get you. I like to think that you cared for me very much at one time. I like to think that it we had something at one point. Call it nostalgia, wishful thinking, sillyness...
It is what it is.

You are someone I wasted so much time, tears, energy, dare I say love, hope, and fantasy on... You kind of took it all from me. You hold such a bitter place in me now. One I don't think will go away for a long time.
I would be totally content if I never saw you again.
All I can say to you is one thing and one thing only...
I pity the fool who falls in love with you.

You are beautiful and important and worth the world. Don't ever think differently.

You and I were best friends, then just friends, then not friends, then just friends, and now best friends again. I'm so happy we are. I love you. Despite all of our past tiffs and words, you will always be one of my ultimate best friends.
Be happy. Be healthy. Be you.

To all whom I've loved or even lost, I would write a novel for each and everyone of you...
A novel filled with stories of life and love. A tragedy. A drama. A comedy. A romance.
The sky is the limit, and every novel would be new and different.
A story of us.
You've made me who I am and I am grateful to you.
You've all taught me many things. Thank you.


With all that said and now forever gone, I feel cleansed in a way. They've been residing and simmering in me for a long time.
I'm happy they are free now.
I'm happy.