Beauty is in the eye of the beholder;

Thus in one's eyes they see the beast, not the beauty.

In the beholder’s eyes, they see the beauty in the beast.

"Beauty in things exists merely in the mind which contemplates them."

Very Crazy...

So my brother is moving in 4 days for Washington D.C.
He's going for graduate school to the Catholic University of America, which means he's going to live there for three or more years. How crazy is that?
To me... Very crazy.
I'm seeing so many people around me starting their lives.
Moving, working, leaving... Growing up.

I wonder what it will be like when my life finally starts...
One things for sure.
I can't wait.

You and I...

I have found that you and I are now and forever one thing... Parallel lines.
Going in the same direction.
With the same mindset.
With the same want.
With the same need.
So similar. So meant. So perfect.
It may seem.
...but tragically, parallel lines don't and will never do one thing.
They will never meet.
That is just how it is.
There they stay. Side by side. Never ending... and never touching.

Maybe One More...

Insomnia Of The Heart

I'm not sleeping these days.

My mind is under this darkened haze.

Where part of me is fine,

but the rest is cold and trapped inside.

We all fall for the trances.

We all dream of the chances.

Our hearts filled to the brim with light.

Visions dancing in the night.

Until interrupted by reality.

With our tender hearts left to suffer this fatality.

We hope for the hopeless.

Yet live in this brokenness.

The feelings of rapture.

Are impossible to recapture.

Once so pure, so in tune.

Left with no cure, never immune.

Will time heal this famine of light?

For now all I crave is to sleep tonight.



Poetry...?

So I am in no way a poet nor do I usually right poetry... but, I realized that a lot of the unfinished songs that I have that have no melodies are more read like poems.
Isn't that really what music is? Words in a certain format otherwise known as poetry, set to a beat and a melody?
I'm not quite sure.

Anyway... I thought I'd share some of my unfinished songs poems...
I hope you enjoy them.

Shadow Friends

With little light above my head,

I can still make out the shadows that reside on the wall.

They ask me how I am.

I fail to respond.

These shadows are patient.

Aware, even though the light is no longer present.

When the night is long, nothing is clear.

My shadows end up making good company.

At least until dawn.

Until Then

Little did I know how this would be.

I must have been blind, because at last... I can see.

Things I didn't notice, things I couldn't feel.

Endless days spent wishing... wishing it was real.

Time turns and rain falls.

Life blinks and birds call.

The night lasts so long.

What is right? What is wrong?

Can we light a match on the pictures in our heads?

What's past is past. Sewn and stitched with threads.

Until night turns to day.

Until hearts aren't used for play.

Until hope is recovered.

Until faith is discovered.

Until we once again hear sound.

Until love is finally found.

Until then...

Old Times Sake...

nos·tal·gia/näˈstaljə/Noun

1. A sentimental longing for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations.

or

reminiscingpresent participle of rem·i·nisceVerb:

1. Indulge in enjoyable recollection of past events

... I'm thinking a little bit of both.

So here's for old times sake...











Some good times :]

It's All I Need...

I've noticed that I tend to write and rant on an awful lot... I definitely have my opinions and my own way of putting things...

So much seriousness in the past few months...
When really, If you knew me... you'd know I'm anything but serious.

I'm always smiling... I'm a dreamer.

I believe in fairy tales and signs and miracles.

I believe that the pennies we find on floors are in fact lucky.

I believe that a good cry and good old time can cure a good amount of heartache.

I believe in the fortunes that come from fortune cookies.
I believe in wishing stars and candle wishing.

I'm very talkative. I always have something to add or some joke to crack.
I love to laugh, I love to make people laugh...
I love to hug and cuddle.
I love to write... Music, Poetry, Blogging...
I love romance novels. I love romantic movies. I love DISNEY movies.
I love to sing and I love to act, and I feel a lot better about myself when my nails are painted... (not sure why)
I tend to belt out any song, at any time, in any place... I prefer parking garages for the acoustics or elevators for the small amount of space between myself and strangers. They don't ever know what's coming.
I love musicals... so much...
I love pajamas and slippers like no other.
I love winter and I love rain... I sorta kind of loathe Summer.
I have a big heart.
I love to love.
I love my friends... I try to be a good friend.

I know I have my flaws... I work hard at them everyday.
Not everything in my life is perfect. Nor am I.
But... I love life. I'm grateful and blessed and happy.
I've got my dreams, my faith, my love, my hope...
It's all I need.

Forever Unfinished...

This is life. People come and they go.

The ones worth keeping are the ones who wish to stay in the first place.

The ones who make the effort.

When you care about someone, shouldn't you fight to keep them?

Yes.

Unless...

They won't fight to keep you.

As simple as that.

It's a double sided world.

There are two sides to every story.

Even if the story is destined for tragedy.

And even for those happily ever afters.

You'll know.

If they care they will. If they don't they won't.

They leave... and even though we hurt, we must let them go.

We must move on.

We must make a new.

We must love again.

Unfinished business...

Forever unfinished.

Our Something(s)...

It's been a while...

What can I say? Summertime, and the living is easy...

This Summer so far has brought so much... So many emotions. So many feelings. So many opinions... So much of something. A something I can't even identify let alone understand...
It's a mixture of feelings and moods. Over thinking is usually what does it. I get lost in my head sometimes. Don't we all? We think, and we think, and we think some more, until every inch of our well being is put through a blender and liquefied until we just cannot bear to think any longer.
I just feel as if lately I want something terribly that is just barely out of reach. Just barely.
Not only something, quite a few things. And yet this something is the very thing I cannot even make out. I suppose I must just search a little harder. I believe the only thing holding me back from finally reaching and grasping this something in life is the only person who can be at times the best and at other times the worst... myself.

I feel a little lost, but I'm sure I'll find myself again soon. I don't have any doubts. Not all who wander are lost. We are all just searching for our something(s) I suppose...

I'm not really myself lately. No wonder I'm just absurdly ranting on.
I suppose writing about absolutely nothing is better than not writing at all...

Empty Spaces...

I suppose we all fear that we will never get through those confusing and painful times. The times that exist every so often in life. But, when you think about it... we always do. We always get through it. Why is this? I suppose in a way the saying is true... "Nothing lasts forever."
Is that saying negative? I believe it to be a double sided notion.
We grow from those times. We find things and feelings and understandings we at one time never knew existed.
...I was fearing so many things. Most of all letting go. I wasn't sure if I could let go of the things that at a time in my life made me the happiest. I was afraid I was losing myself along with these things that I simply chose not to hold onto anymore. It's scary actually seeing change and having to swim along with it. It's even scarier seeing things that you once had so close to your heart fade away... They once existed so vividly. Now all that remains is nothing but empty spaces. These spaces are just reminders that simply gather dust and sit in empty corners until time wears on their existence in ones mind. Until they are worn thin.
When I say things... I mean people. I mean feelings. I mean the way things once were.

It's a very healing feeling when you realize that no matter what you do, no matter how much you do, no matter how much you give... some people will never change. The only person who can change them is themselves. That's fair enough. It's also fair accepting that, letting go of the pain caused, and moving on.

I've learned a lot in this past month. I've learned that I may very well of been trying to make myself a certain way to make it seem like I was a perfect choice for friendship or anything else for that matter. Don't we all do that when we crave acceptance or friendship? I wasn't acting like somebody I wasn't, more of just making sure that all of the traits I possessed were in the right places for the right people... if that makes any sense at all.
I used to think that I didn't want to lose anyone or anything that I care about. I fear that everyday.
But things that hurt me, I don't fear anymore.
Some of those things may have played a huge part in my life. They created times that will always stick with me... and amidst all of these realizations, I have come to finally open my eyes and see that times have long since changed, and frankly... so have I.