Empty Spaces...

I suppose we all fear that we will never get through those confusing and painful times. The times that exist every so often in life. But, when you think about it... we always do. We always get through it. Why is this? I suppose in a way the saying is true... "Nothing lasts forever."
Is that saying negative? I believe it to be a double sided notion.
We grow from those times. We find things and feelings and understandings we at one time never knew existed.
...I was fearing so many things. Most of all letting go. I wasn't sure if I could let go of the things that at a time in my life made me the happiest. I was afraid I was losing myself along with these things that I simply chose not to hold onto anymore. It's scary actually seeing change and having to swim along with it. It's even scarier seeing things that you once had so close to your heart fade away... They once existed so vividly. Now all that remains is nothing but empty spaces. These spaces are just reminders that simply gather dust and sit in empty corners until time wears on their existence in ones mind. Until they are worn thin.
When I say things... I mean people. I mean feelings. I mean the way things once were.

It's a very healing feeling when you realize that no matter what you do, no matter how much you do, no matter how much you give... some people will never change. The only person who can change them is themselves. That's fair enough. It's also fair accepting that, letting go of the pain caused, and moving on.

I've learned a lot in this past month. I've learned that I may very well of been trying to make myself a certain way to make it seem like I was a perfect choice for friendship or anything else for that matter. Don't we all do that when we crave acceptance or friendship? I wasn't acting like somebody I wasn't, more of just making sure that all of the traits I possessed were in the right places for the right people... if that makes any sense at all.
I used to think that I didn't want to lose anyone or anything that I care about. I fear that everyday.
But things that hurt me, I don't fear anymore.
Some of those things may have played a huge part in my life. They created times that will always stick with me... and amidst all of these realizations, I have come to finally open my eyes and see that times have long since changed, and frankly... so have I.