Demons surround me. Confusion surrounds me. Faults and flaws surround me.
I'm sorry for my faults. I'm sorry for my demons. I'm not perfect. Far from it. I need to stop trying to be.
It sticks like gum on the bottom of my shoe. I can't just buy a new pair of shoes every time. I need to clean it off and keep walking. This is exactly what I try to do. I let it break me, and push me around for a little while. Then I brush myself off, vow to make a change (or two), show a smile, and keep walking.
The sad thing is, when I brush myself off, I brush it onto others, taking it out on them. When I vow to make a change, or at least try to, I never follow through. I hate this. I try, I crave. I want to make these changes stick. But they always end up un-sticking... failing.
The sad thing is that I am writing this when I should be focusing on those same old changes I've just ranted about...
Heard it all before Meghan... No fooling myself.
I suppose the good thing is that I see my flaws, and my demons, and my fears... Some can't even face them. Some don't even see them. I want to face them. I need the strength. I need the faith. I used to think I wasn't afraid of anything. Except this.
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