Wired...

It has been a few days since my last entry... Rather odd since just last week I was writing more than I thought I ever could. Those entrees from before are different though. They came from deep inside... So I'll give it a shot tonight.

So it's late as usual. The only time I actually can write. Not sure why... Just how I must be wired I suppose.

This past week has been indescribable in so many ways. In a nutshell... I learned A lot.
I came to terms with a lot of the aspects in my life... I took wrong turns. I laughed. I cried. I took right turns. I let people in. I let people go. I smiled. I listened. I spent time with the person who means the most to me, my mom. I sang. I ate. I breathed. I lived.

I really learned that things are not as they seem. That the one thing you may be expecting, might turn out to be the one thing you do not gain. What you do gain, may appear to be the polar opposite, but it may be even better than your first want and/or expectation. Hard to explain. Hard to understand.
No matter what it is though, I'll always hold places in my heart for anything or anyone I do or do not gain... Like I said. It's just how I'm wired.

On a simpler yet one of the most important notes...
I love the people in my life. I'm so lucky to know some of the most kind-hearted and gentle souls on this planet. They make me feel at peace and at home in this crazy world that we all go through...
The one thing I love the most is knowing that I can make them smile... That somehow I can return the favor. Return the feeling of love and acknowledgment and kindness. I live to make people smile.
It doesn't matter who they are. People I've known for only a short time, or others I've known for ages. It does not matter to me...

No matter the cost, I'd do anything for the people I love. It's something I can give. Even ones who I do not exactly or technically adore... I wish them well. I wish them love. What more can I say?

When it all comes down to it... When the blade is wiped clean or when the song is at it's close, I'm very happy. I'm very grateful. I have it good. I have absolutely nothing to complain about. It doesn't mean I don't have my own worries or issues or insecurities or flaws, it just means that I know that whatever it is, will only become as better as I make it... I plan to make it worthwhile. I'm on my way.:)